Rockwells Syndrome
There is a disease sweeping the nation, affecting both old and young alike in different ways. The only known cure is isolation from affected individuals, and the effects are long lasting and severe. I am speaking of course about Rockwells syndrome, named after the early 20th century artist who personifies the crux of the problem.
When you think of Norman Rockwell, what comes to mind? “Paintings of an idealized America”? Funny depictions of kids playing outside? Not a person of color in sight, and worst disability to be had was mild obesity. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing bad to say about the man, he was a great artist and could tell a story in a picture very well. Unfortunately the world view that he painted and gained so much popularity with is a big problem with society today, and for the worst cases, can actually be classified as a mental illness. I’m no psychiatrist, nor did I ever come to Psych 101 sober, so I cant comment on what it might be. Thankfully my belief that others are smarter than I am and that I don’t know everything is a reassuring proof that it hasnt been passed to me.
1 . Everyone else is better than you
We call that impostor syndrome today, and can be a killer in a scientific or professional career, but sometimes it can be even worse than a little self doubt. “You just dont get it” “You can’t get a good job because (constantly changing reason)”. Opinions that seem valid on the surface, but are repeated more forcefully the better you do, as if they aren’t opinions or advice, but orders that you are defying by succeeding. If it feels like deliberate sabotage, it is. The person saying these things does not want you to succeed. If this rings true with anyone, I can’t stress it enough, they do NOT want you to succeed. That constantly changing reason is meant to be just out of reach, so you will keep chasing it instead of your passion/career. The instilling of a feeling of general not belonging in society is meant to derail any career you do start by making you always feel like an outsider. No career goes anywhere without you getting along with your co workers. These are not high brow well though out plans, but a minor amount of thought put into making you feel dependent on them.
2 . Everything you say is a lie
This is a psychological tactic known as gas lighting. Everything you say has to be checked and seems to be wrong somehow, even if you are an authority in the subject. They accept the word of people not as well versed over yours, or when yours are validated and proven true, they act as if you werent the one who told them that. This can even go so far as to pretend like old information when repeated is new information. If this feels disrepectful, it is. It goes to the first tenant above, to make you feel like whatever you do know and get right is just pure happenstance. The reactions to being confronted with their actions of this sort range from “Oh I forgot”, “I’m just crazy I guess”, or most gas lighting of all “I never said/meant that”.
3 . I am above reproach, and I can act however I want with you
I don’t know if its an inferiority complex being over compensated for, or narcissism, but another disturbing tactic of being always “put in your place” is prevalent. I don’t have a generalized diatribe thought out, but I can give you an example. A female family member is asking all the men in a group if they have a name for their “man hood”. However when asked “Do you have a name for your p**sy?” she comes unglued like it was the biggest insult ever. Nobody there could explain the reaction. The usual justification for this behavior is religious in nature, even if said person attends church only on holidays, and just reads a lot of Bob Woodward books.
4 . I wish it was (insert time and place far removed from current reality)
Just a generalized insult saying that you arent living your life correctly happens the further removed this person is from your life. The goal post they set out is usually so far removed from reality that it could never be achieved. The closer you try to get the further, or different it is set.
If this all sounds too familiar, your family member suffers from Rockwells syndrome. The best cure is simply distance and lack of communication. They offer nothing positive to your life and you are better off without them. It is not “good intentions” or anything, it is strictly self serving. You can not “fix” them, they will never “get better”, in fact the more you try, the more the opposite will happen. Just get away, and do yourself the favor of not asking others what has been said behind your back. If this resonates with you for the right reason, you need to hear this:
You are good enough, in fact probably really good because you have tried so hard for so long.
It is okay to discover the real you, who you are was quashed for so long, you may not know. You are you, not a reflection of someone else.
Your initial reactions to their actions are the right ones. The reason you change your mind is because they are good at what they do too, which is manipulate you.
